Controlling Your Emotions

Do you ever make a mess for yourself by losing control?  You know the days where you didn't sleep well, no one else did either, little things just start to bug you, then all of a sudden BOOM! You're yelling, screaming and completely over reacting. You don't care who sees, because you can't see past your emotions.

 

There are four different reactions types when dealing with your emotions.

1. Exploders Who Blames Others - "My kids just pushed me over the edge. Why do they have to be so loud when I am trying to finish dinner. I just need five more minutes.

2. Exploders Who Shames Themselves- "The sale price didn't ring up right on your coffee. That was it the checker was incompetent and you told them all about it. While others watched."

 

3. Stuffers Who Build Barriers- "Say your fine when you really are not then you shut down communication."

 

4. Stuffers Who Collects Retaliation Rocks- collecting "proof" while pretending everything is fine. "Taking offense when some gets you a diet Soda instead of regular, because you think, that they think you are out of shape." Seeing things that are no there.

 

After looking at this list, I am sure you have found yourself in one or more of these situations and reactions. There might be one or two that are your M.O. when dealing with your emotions.  It is hard to take responsibility when we are in the moment and feel you need to react.

Once you target where you are when you start to feel like you're going to lose control you can better deal with the emotional repercussions.

 

1. Take a breath and a pause. Are you going to address the issue or just explode? If your addressing the issue then go ahead. If you are going to explode take a longer pause. Some situation will just take longer to address. This is not a race it is life.

2. Get perspective. if this is the worst thing that happens to me today it is still a pretty good day. Take a moment is this the worst thing that could happen. More than likely "No".

3. Stop pretending, keep communication open. No one is getting anywhere if they don't know there is an issue or won't address it. Set up clear boundaries to help you feel comfortable and keep communication open to grow your relationships.

4. Prove it.  Are you trying to Prove or Improve your relationship. You can't do both.

Take a minute now think  about how you usually react to situations. Then decide how you might change that the next time you are in that position. It will help you be more comfortable with the outcome knowing that you took the time to improve the situation.

 

 It will also help to give your kids cues on how control their emotions, which let's face can make a world of difference in our emotional state.

 

Even imperfect progress is still progress.

2 Corinthians 8:7

But as you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in all earnestness, and in our love for you—see that you excel in this act of grace also.

 

A Beautiful Mess Starting September 6, 2013

It's September and our first meeting is Friday! Yes, Friday Sept 6, 2013! I hope you're ready because it should be an interesting year. 

This year's theme is A Beautiful Mess. Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God's Masterpiece. He has created us a new in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."

 Every day I am sure you struggle with everything that should be done, needs to be done, and what actually gets done. Whether it is on a personal level, family, domestic level (cleaning that bathroom), or spiritual level. We all struggle with the everyday messes. The things that we may just feel embarrassed by. Our ponytail hair style, lack of make-up, or love of yoga pants when we go to the grocery store.  Yeah, I know, I am there too. 

We tend to focus on the mom or family that has it all together. That don't seem to have any messes just the beautiful part. Here is a little secret; we all have a mess somewhere, some of us keep it hidden very well, but there are things that we would like to or need to change about ourselves.

This year we are going to take a look at the beauty. These "messes" teach us  there is something beautiful in every mess. It could be a lesson we learned, a friend we made, or a God Moment.  This a time to just let go and be yourself. We don't mind if you wear your yoga pants, don't fix your hair, and we don't care if your house is clean.

We are excited to start this year with old and new friends. If you would like the theme book for this year is "The Artist's Daughter: A Memoir" by Alexandra Kuykendall . You are encouraged to read the book.

See you soon.